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Top 5 Pop Stars Who Make Wanna LALA

7/19/2015

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Taylor Swift (above) - Not only does this Jerk Own all her albums, he also knows every word to every song.  That isn't sad is it?  Taylor is flawless, head to toe and she is very deserving of the number 1 spot on this list.
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Miley Cyrus (above) - She is so freaky and this Jerk Off likes it.  I'm not a fan of her music but I can appreciate her shows.  Call me, maybe?
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Rhianna (above) -  What can any man say but DAMN!  This pop star is drop dead gorgeous and has hit after hit after hit on Billboard.  Good find Jay-Z!
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Cheryl Cole (above) -I am not gonna lie, I know nothing about this girl, just that she looks insanely hot.
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Ariana Grande (above) -  Her music makes for good background music at a party.  I love her hair and innocent face paired with slutty outfits. A bit confusing imagery but this Jerk Off isn't confused.  She wants me!
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The Jerk Off's thoughts on Tiger Woods

7/19/2015

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Do you remember when Tiger Woods was the best golfer in the world?  I do.  And it wasn't even close, he'd win by 10-20 strokes.  Then came that fateful Thanksgiving 7 years ago  when his wife took a 6 iron to his face.  He hasn't won since.  Everyone says its all the girls messing up his mind and game, but I offer a much different view.

When Tiger was dominate he was a scrawny kid (below) who could drive the ball 400 yards.
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And then roided up Tiger (below) emerges.  Tiger denies any PED use but come on.  That'd be like me claiming not to be a Jerk Off.  Anyway with his new body came a new swing.  His new swinging has resulted in 100 or so yards less off the tee and 0 wins.  This combined with his love of ho's makes him irrelevant in the game of golf,
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Top 5 Sexy Women in Sports

7/18/2015

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1.  Ronda Rousey (below) - Holy this woman is not only hot, but she is the biggest badass this Jerk Off has witnessed.  Years from now we'll appreciate how dominate an athlete she is.  And to this Jerk Off that only makes her hotter.
2. Hope Solo (below) -She is so gorgeous.   I don't think she is the kind of girl who likes to be known for her sex appeal, but her dreamy eyes and her creamy thighs disagree.
USA Soccer team goalie
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3. Jennie Finch (below) -  A common trait she shares with the two woman above her is her complete domination of her sport.  Watching her booty as she pitches is worth watching softball.
Team USA Softball

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4. Della Donne (below) -  I don't know what it is, but this w`oman is amazing.  Everytime I see her in a game or in interview I hear myself mumbling I love you!
WNBA Chicago Sky
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5. Anna Kournikova (below) -She'd be higher on this list if only she never met Enrique Iglessias. Anna is probably the most beautiful woman to not become a model instead of a sports star.
  Tennis anyone?!

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2015 Seattle Seahawks (Outlook)

7/17/2015

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The Seattle Seahawks have little competition coming out of the NFC West and only a few teams in the NFC that can challenge them.






Offence:
This team has the perfect personnel to run Pete Carol's scheme.  A mobile quaterback in Russell Wilson (above) to put up good, not great, but good numbers.  They traded pro bowl center Max Unger for Jimmy Graham (below).  Not only is he the best tight end in the league, but he brings Wilson a much needed red zone weapon. In  the backfield is one of the hardest running backs to bring down in Marhawn Lynch.  The wide recievers are lead by Kearse and Baldwin, both are better than average wr's.

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Defence:
Good luck playing against this D.  They are solid at every position, especially with Bobby Wagner (below)in the middle!
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Jerk Off Prediction
14-2 record
1st in NFC

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The Jerk Off's Thoughts on Justin Bieber

7/16/2015

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Maybe because I am not a sexually confused (not that there is anything wrong with that) young boy or a brain dead pre-teen girl  But for the life of me I don't know or understand why anyone cares for this kid.  Justin Bieber is the  epitome of what's wrong with America.  I asked my mom what does Justin Bieber do?  She says gets in trouble.  I say no, for a living?  She replies I don't know.  Exactly. My fellow Jerk Off says he is a singer. Hmm, don't singers have songs?  Or tour playing shows? I guess the point is Justin Bieber is the king of Jerk Offs.
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Top 5 Sexy Women of Game of Thrones

7/15/2015

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1. Sofie Turner (below)- Sansa Stark -  I have to admit this ginger started off as an awkward looking teen.  But years later she holds this Jerk Off's heart.

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2. Natalie Dormer (below) - Margerie Tyrel - This Jerk Off has lusted after this babe since her days on The Tudors.  She is gorgeous. 
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3. Emilia Clarke (below) - Danny Targareyn - When she puts on her silver wig and slaps on some dirt God rest this Jerk Off heart! And her confidence in her position makes my bone wag!
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4. Lena Headey (below) - Cersi Lannister - Cersi is quite the slut on the show.  She bangs everyone, including family members to get what she wants.  As taboo and gross as that is, her being insanely sexy seems to make it okay.
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5. Carice van Houten (below) -Melisande - She is a very dark and evil character.  Also, to this Jerk Off she is hands down the sexiest.  Hey Carice I'd burn a 13 year old kid to death also if you let me cuddle with you!

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Game of Thrones - Season 5

7/15/2015

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In the day of DVR, every Sunday night HBO is must see TV for this Jerk Off.  I have to see who gets killed and how before some other Jerk Off spoils it on social media. I am one of those annoying people who have read the books thus I pretty much know what's going to happen.  But season 5 ended on a cliffhaanger the books don't even answer. I won't spoil anything.  Keep in mind this isn't a show you can watch half assed.  It   requires your full attention.  As a bonus it is full of naked hot chics.

Jerk Off scale - 5 out of 5 faps

In Meereen, the insurgent "Sons of the Harpy" have started to revolt against Daenerys Targaryen's regime by murdering citizens and Unsullied, also taking the life of Barristan Selmy. In order to regain peace and control, Daenerys complies with the request of re-opening the fighting pits. Tyrion Lannister arrives in Pentos along with Varys, and they begin their journey to Meereen together. They pass through Volantis, where Tyrion is abducted by Jorah Mormont, who takes him to Meereen as a way to redeem himself to Daenerys. Daenerys takes Tyrion as her advisor, but orders Jorah exiled once more. After the Sons of the Harpy mount an attack on Daenerys and her retinue at the fighting pits, Jorah saves her life. Drogon reappears and Daenerys flies away on his back. After landing for safety, Drogon rests on a hillside. Daenerys goes looking for food, only to be surrounded by Dothraki horsemen. Jorah and Daario Naharis leave to search for Daenerys, while Tyrion, Varys, Missandei, and Grey Worm remain to rule Meereen.

At the Wall, Stannis Baratheon has Mance Rayder burned alive for treason. Stannis promises Jon Snow legitimacy and rule of Winterfell should he ride with him against the Boltons, but Jon declines his offer and stays at the Wall. As newly elected Lord Commander of the Night's Watch, Jon forms an alliance with the Wildlings, much to the dismay of the rest of the Night's Watch. They begin evacuating Wildlings at Hardhome, when the settlement suddenly comes under attack from White Walkers and their wight armies. Though many die and are revived as wights, the brothers still manage to rescue a large number of Wildlings and Jon leads them through the gate to Castle Black, south of the Wall. After Samwell Tarly and Gilly leave for Oldtown and Maester Aemon passes away, the majority of the Night's Watch become disillusioned with Jon's leadership and see him as a traitor. They lure Jon into a trap and stab him to death.

In the Vale, Littlefinger puts Robin Arryn in the care of House Royce and leaves for Winterfell with Sansa Stark. Brienne, still loyal to the oath she swore to Catelyn Stark, and her squire Podrick follow them. In Winterfell, Sansa is reunited with Reek and marries Ramsay Bolton to form an alliance between the Vale and the Boltons. Ramsay subjects Sansa to physical and psychological abuse, including raping her on their wedding night while forcing Reek to watch. After Reek reveals to Sansa that he did not kill her brothers Bran and Rickon, the two escape together, jumping off the castle walls.

At his camp in the North, Stannis reluctantly acquiesces to Melisandre's demands to burn Shireen alive as a sacrifice to the God of Light. As a result, his wife Selyse is found hanging from a noose and half of his forces desert him. The remaining Baratheon forces ride for Winterfell, but are soon defeated by the Boltons. In the aftermath of the battle, Stannis is apparently killed by Brienne of Tarth. Melisandre flees for Castle Black.

In King's Landing, Lancel Lannister returns, now a member of the devoutly religious "Sparrows". Following the wedding of Margaery Tyrell and Tommen Baratheon, Cersei Lannister begins losing control of Tommen, and with him her power source. She tries to regain her status by authorizing the revival of the Faith Militant, the military wing of the Faith of the Seven. The Sparrows quickly begin imposing their puritanical views upon King's Landing by ridding it of all "sins", in the process also seizing Loras Tyrell for being homosexual. They proceed to imprison him, as well as Margaery and Cersei herself for committing various sins. Cersei is released after confessing to adultery with Lancel and being forced to march naked through King's Landing.

In Dorne, the Sand Snakes, the bastard daughters of Oberyn Martell, seek vengeance against the Lannisters for the death of their father. After a threatening message arrives, Bronn and Jaime Lannister travel to Dorne, planning to rescue Myrcella Baratheon. Oberyn's brother Doran Martell discovers that Ellaria Sand had sent the message and allows Jaime and Myrcella to leave for King's Landing, provided Myrcella's betrothed Trystane Martell go with them and be given a seat on the Small Council. En route to King's Landing, Myrcella collapses after having been poisoned by Ellaria.

Arya Stark arrives in Braavos and starts training with the Faceless Men, guided by Jaqen H'ghar and another young woman. She disguises herself as an oyster seller and is told to kill a dishonest insurance agent at the harbor. But after Meryn Trant's arrival, Arya assassinates him instead. She is blinded in punishment.


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Top 5 Superhero Movies

7/14/2015

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This Jerk   Off loves him some superhero movies.  Below is my 5 favorite,  If you agree or disagree please share.

1. Robocop - 1987 - I do consider this a super hero movie and it is hands down the best.

In a dystopic and crime-ridden Detroit, a terminally wounded cop returns to the force as a powerful cyborg haunted by submerged memories.
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2. Spider Man 2 - 2004 - I remember watching this so impressed.  Everything from the story line to the effects tickled my Jerk Off bone.

Peter Parker is beset with troubles in his failing personal life as he battles a brilliant scientist named Doctor Otto Octavius.
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3. Unbreakable - 2000 - This movie is dark and wonderful.  The hero, the villain, absolute perfection! 



A man learns something extraordinary about himself after a devastating accident.



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4. Iron Man - 2008 - Not only is this the best superhero story line,  it is acted the way this Jerk Off likes.

After being held captive in an Afghan cave, an industrialist creates a unique weaponized suit of armor to fight evil.
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5. The Wolverine - 2013 - This Jerk Off loves this character and Hugh Jackman brings him to life.  I give this film 2 fists up.

When Wolverine is summoned to Japan by an old acquaintance, he is embroiled in a conflict that forces him to confront his own demons.
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2015 Detroit Lions (Outlook)

7/14/2015

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The NFC North belongs to the GB Packers.  That said,, the Detroit Lions are a piece or  two away.


Offence:
The glaring problem that has haunted the Lions is the o-line.  Getting Manny Rameriz from the Broncos and drafting L.Tomilson (below) will solidify the interior.  But  Riley Reid defending the blind side is scary, and that is being polite.
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As for the skill players.

Matt Stafford (above) is ready to take that next step.    To me he is the best quarterback in Lions history and with him behind center the sky is the limit

The wide reciever position is their best and deepest that it has been in years.  They are lead by Calvin Johnson (below), Golden Tate, Lance Moore, Ryan Broyles, Corey Fuller, and a few more budding stars..


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Joique Bell (below) has proven to me he is ready to eat up a huge amount of yards in the backfield.  And having Theo Riddick and the rookie  Ameer Abdullah to give a different look is very encouraging.  I just hope that shaky o-line can open up holes for them.
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Out of their respective drafts, both Brandon Pettigrew and Eric Ebron (below) were the Lions answer at the tight end position.  Both have underwhelmed as pro's yet the Lions nor this Jerk Off are ready to give up on.
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Defense:
The strength of the number 1 defense in the league was their d-line.  But losing N. Suh to the Dolphins was a huge hit. Nick Fairley signing with the Rams doesn't hurt much.  He is a way over rated player. That said the Lions signed H. Ngata (below) to replace that void up the middle, and not much has changed on defense except two problem children are gone.  The coaches and other personnel are in tact, so I don't see the D falling to far, if at all.
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Jerk Off prediction:
A 10-6 record and a wildcard birth.

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TOP 10 BOOBS AND THE FIVE WOMAN WHO OWN THEM

7/12/2015

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1    Kate Upton (below) anywhere in any outfit is this Jerk Off's weakness.  She is so angelic, it's almost not fair for her to have perfect boobs, a perfect butt, and a perfect face.  The only issue I have with her is her choice for a boyfriend, Justin Verlander.
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2    The girl from "Eurotrip" in the hot tub scene.  This Jerk Off doesn't know her name, only that i fell in instant lust with her.

Oh, my fellow Jerk Off says her name is Molly Shade (below).  So Molly if you're single, I'd love to hot tub with you.




















3    Katie Holmes (below) is topless in the movie 'The Gift.  Trust me I was as shocked by them  as I am even typing this.  This is little tom boy Joey Potter!  But by God she womaned out and they are amazing.  The thing about her boobs is yes they are small, but  they are full and perky!  Suddenly “The Gift” seems an appropriate title.

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4.   Sofia Vergara (below) - I almost left her off my list as her voice and acting makes me mental.  But if you watch her on mute, you as well as this Jerk Off will be in boob heaven!

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5.    Halle Berry (below) - Wow, what to say? I would say no one can disagree with these fun bags on this list.  She oozes sexuality and her giant boobs are hypnotizing.  Hey Halle, once you go Jerk Off, you never go back.!
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