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5 Hottest Female Soccer Players. GOAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

8/12/2015

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I find myself watching female soccer games more than I  should.  The main reason is the girls playing are getting curvier and sexier everyday.  These are my 5 hottest female soccer players.

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Alex Morgan (above) Alex Morgan is an American soccer player and Olympic gold medalist. She is a forward for National Women’s Soccer League club Portland Thorns FC and the U.S. Women’s National Team.

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 Hope Solo.(above) is an goalkeeper of US national female soccer team. multi-talented Hope Solo is also the TV star, she was appeared in a TV series called Dancing with the Stars. she has also wrote a book. Hope Solo is also in my hottest female athletes list.  In other words I'd love to shoot  my balls at her.
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22 years old Jonelle Filigno (above) is the Canadian Soccer star. Jonelle Filigno was the part of bronze medal winning Canadian team in Olympic 2012. she was also the part of his national side in Summer Olympics and FIFA women’s world cup 2011. I'd enjoy being her baby daddy.

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Nayeli Rangel(above) is Mexican star, who plays as a midfielder for Mexico’s national soccer team. she also plays for Sky Blue FC in the National Women’s Soccer League. Very talented and sharp midfielder turning out to be one of the hottest female soccer player in the world.
Hola mi amor!
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Canadian star midfielder, who also plays for Vancouver Whitecaps FC. Kaylyn Kyle (above, below) and you're welcome.
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Top 5 Sexy Reality Stars

8/10/2015

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To be a reality star you need to be down right sexy, or have tons of flaws.  Sometimes both.  This is a list of my top 5 sexy reality stars.

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Audrina Patridridge (above) - was born May 9, 1985) is an American television personality, television presenter, actress, and model. In 2006, she rose to prominence after being cast in the reality television series The Hills
Is she latina?  I feel she is.
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Veronica Portillo (above) - was born November 27, 1977 in Los Angeles, CA.  She is an American reality television participant, Playboymodel, and co-creator of the College Dropout t-shirt line
So when she was on Semester at Sea this jerk off fell in love with her.  She is a beauty!  And it's weird, she gets hotter with age.  The opposite of most girls.  Call me V.
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Nicole Scherzinger (above) - was born Nicole Prescovia Elikolani Valiente; June 29, 1978).  She is an American singer, dancer, actress and television personality. After reaching one-hit wonder success with girl group Eden's Crush, she signed with Interscope Records in 2003 as a member of the Pussycat Doll
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Nicole "Hoopz" Alexander (above)  Nicole Alexnder was first introduced to the world on the VH1 reality TV series “Flavor Of Love” in 2006 where she got her nickname “Hoopz”
I felt that was a show all the girls didn't want to win!
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Kristen Cavallari Kristin Elizabeth Cutler (née Cavallari; born January 5, 1987) is an American television personality, fashion designer, and actress. She is so insanely hot not even her drama filled soul or douche bag husband could keep her off my list.
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The Signal (2014)

8/8/2015

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On a road trip, Nic and two friends are drawn to an isolated area by a computer genius. When everything suddenly goes dark, Nic regains consciousness - only to find himself in a waking nightmare.

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I went into this movie with little expectations, but I really enjoyed it.  This movie takes a huge turn I won't spoil, but this Jerk Off definitely recommends it.  I still don't understand the end. 
I  rate this movie 3.5 out of 5 faps.
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Top 5 Sexy Redheads in Hollywood

8/7/2015

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Redheads scare me!  As if you make one false move and they will eat your soul.  But they are so addicting it is almost impossible to stay away!  These are My 5 sexiest redheads!

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Emma Roberts - (above)  a flawless beauty and a great actress.  She is so good on American Horror Show.
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Lindsay Lohan - (above) i can't shake the sex appeal of this crazy ginger.
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Cristina Hendricks - (above)  there are two reasons why I picked her.
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Nicole Kidman (above) - i fell for this strawberry blonde when i was a young jerk off in the movie Malice.  And she'll forever be my first redhead lust.
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Emma Stone (above) - if she dressed like she did in this pic more she'd be this jerk off's woman.  Damn she rocks that outfit!
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5 Sexiest Latinas in Hollywood

8/4/2015

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There is something special about Latinas.  Maybe it's their bubbly personalities, their curvy bodies, or their insatiable sexual appetite.  Whatever it is, latinas are my favorite women in the world!

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Heidi Cortez (above)- Hands down she is the best looking latina ever.  And knowing latinas are my favorite women in the world, you do the math.  That's right, you are looking at Mrs Jerk Off.
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Heidi (above) - Her acting and modeling career took off internationally in print, including Maxim Magazine, and several TV commercials, and music videos. In 2007–2008 Cortez was cast and appeared on the hit American reality television show Sunset Tan on the E! Network for two seasons.



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Mrs. Jerk Off (above) - owns Cabana Tans in Reno, which is one of the largest tanning salons in northern Nevada. 


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Eva Mendes (above) - My favorite latina until Heidi Cortez came along.  The Cuban actress is definitely the perfect mixture between a curvy Latina and an elegant, classical beauty. 



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Sofia Vergara
The Modern Family star has an undeniably compelling body; and she knows it very well. Also, the Colombian star exudes an air of nonchalance that makes her even sexier

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Zoe Saldaña
Her brown skin and toned arms are simply irresistible. According to her, the best beauty advice came from her Puerto Rican mother. One is her love for natural cosmetics. The other favorite is learning to always believe in herself no matter what people say. The results are there for all to see.

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Salma Hayek
At 46, the Mexican actress is one of the most attractive women in Hollywood. 
One word: boobs.
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Tampa Bay Buccaneers Outlook (2015)

8/3/2015

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Let's face it, this franchise is years away from competing.  That said they are moving in the right direction.

I predict they will be the most improved team with a 6-10 record.  4th in the nfc south.
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Jameis Winston (above) This kid is a winner.  I feel in a few years he'll be a top 5 qb.

Gerald McCoy (below left) and Levante David (below right) are 2 of the best defenders in the league.  You add a few more pieces on defense and look out!
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Top 5 Sets of Celebrity Legs

8/3/2015

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More than boobs or butts, legs make the woman.  Everyone has different tastes, but being 6'4, seeing a long, toned, tan leg on a woman makes this jerk off go nuts.  That said, this is MY top 5 sets of Celebrity legs!

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Taylor Swift (above) - I am still trying to find 1, just 1 flaw with this woman.  Everything about her, including her legs are perfect.
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Stacy Keibler (left) - She used to be in the WWE.  
Did she fight?  I hope not.  Anyway I'd marry this beauty if I was George Clooney.  He downgraded on the leg scale dumping this beauty.

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Beth Ostrosky (above) - This is one of my favorite looking woman ever.  She is a model, host, animal activist, and owner of two legs that make this jerk off drool.
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Karlie Kloss' (above) sexy legs are so long, the supermodel has said finding pants that fit is a challenge. Can I have her?  Please?
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Posh Spice (above) - She is the opposite of tall.  But the award for an amazing little slut that starts with her short hot legs goes to her.  I love her!
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Review of The Adam Corolla Show

8/2/2015

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I recently discovered what a podcast is.  So I downloaded like 50 as everyone has one  I discovered most are terrible but a few are amazing.  And my favorite is The Adam Corolla Show.

The Adam Carolla Show (formerly The Adam Carolla Podcast) is a free podcast hosted by comedian and radio-television personality Adam Carolla. Its first episode was released online on February 23, 2009 and the show is the flagship program of Carolla Digital.

In May 2011, the show became the Guinness World Records holder for the most downloaded podcast after receiving 59,574,843 unique downloads from March 2009 to March 16, 2011, overtaking the previous record set by The Ricky Gervais Show, a podcast hosted by British comedian Ricky Gervais.[1]



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The staff on-air includes Adam, Bald Brian, and the beauty with over sized boobs, Gina Grad.  A perfect storm of comedy perfection.

The Jerk Off rates this podcast 5 out of 5 faps.
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Top 5 Historical Women Whom Make This Jerk Off Wish He Had A Time Machine.

8/1/2015

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Princess Diana (above)

Known for her beauty, fashion sense, 
charisma, and high-profile charity work, Diana became a worldwide celebrity after her marriage to Prince Charles. She breathed new life into the stuffy British aristocracy, wearing elegant gowns that screamed rather than whispered. During her lifetime, people often called her the world’s most photographed person. Unfortunately, that also led to her death. A BBC poll named her the third greatest Briton of all time, ahead of Charles Darwin and Margaret Thatcher. Of course, she’s a lot hotter. 

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Anne Boelyn

Anne Boleyn (c. 1501[1] – 19 May 1536) was Queen of England from 1533 to 1536 as the second wife of King Henry VIII, and Marquess of Pembroke in her own right.[5] Henry's marriage to Anne, and her subsequent execution, made her a key figure in the political and religious upheaval that was the start of the English Reformation
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Marta Hari

A Dutch-Frisian exotic dancer in Paris during World War I, Mata Hari also worked as a double agent. She moved to France from her native Netherlands and won acclaim as a dancer with her promiscuity, flirtatiousness and willingness to flaunt her body in a way that was rare in the early 1900s. Since the Netherlands remained neutral during WWI, Mata Hari could move freely between borders as a Dutch subject. She was a courtesan to many high-ranking allied military officers during this time. In 1917, French intelligence agents intercepted a German message describing their spy in Paris known as H-21. They later identified H-21 as Mata Hari and executed her by firing squad. There’s always something sexy about the Bond villainess, and this hot historical woman was the real thing.

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Cleaopatra


In recent years, historians have wondered about the extent of Cleopatra’s beauty. Certain depictions of her from the era show her nose to be quite large. However, back then a strong nose showed dominance and strength of character. Cassius Dio, a Roman historian, wrote of this hot historical woman: "For she was a woman of surpassing beauty; she also possessed a most charming voice and a knowledge of how to make herself agreeable to every one.” Big nose or not, she charmed and bore the sons of the most powerful men of the Roman Empire: Julius Caesar and Mark Antony. The latter forgot he had a wife back home and married 
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Joan of Arc

There’s something sexy about a fair French girl who could kick your ass. Add the suit of armor and things just get kinky. This hot historical woman grew up a farm girl during the Hundred Years’ War between England and France. At 12 years old, divine visions told her to drive the English from her homeland. By 16, she led French forces in a number of successful attacks against the British. She had to wear men’s clothing and cut her hair short to not be seen as a sexual object. Still, she managed to inspire an army of men twice her age to follow her..
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The Jerk Off's thoughts on Tom Brady...

7/31/2015

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His denial of guilt is more obvious and just as pathetic as Pete Rose's.

AJ Feely claims Tom used to deflate balls under legal levels even back in 2003.  Once a cheater, always a cheater. (Hey Giselle, how you doing?)

Deflated footballs are easier to grip, just ask RB Green-Elis who had 0 fumbles in his career with Tom Brady.  When traded, he fumbled in his very first game.

The cell phone with his conversations via text to the ball boy just happened to get destroyed the day after the NFL asked to see it.

I hope this keeps him ouit of the hall of fame.  You fuck with the game, the game fucks with you!

#cheatersstink
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  • The Jerk Speaks!
  • Who is the Jerk Off?
  • Contact
  • Genesis
  • Why 5?
  • XXX